Alright……I have been horrible at keeping up with my writing and just realized that the year is half done. My life has been a roller coaster this year with a wedding that was going to be and then thankfully, wasn’t; new romances and adventures and then finally being able to work without my depression, anxiety and the constant whirlwind of emotions that I seem to have on a daily basis.
First thing to be thankful for is the fact that I have been working for a few weeks now and it is going amazingly well. I enjoy my coworkers and the work that I do helps the days go by quicker than they have been while sitting at home. I have broken out in hives only a few times so that is evidence enough, for me, that I am less stressed.
I have had chronic hives off and on for about a year now. I have done testing and been taking a concoction of medications (both over the counter and prescription) to find the cause of the hives and to keep them maintained, if not gone from my body. Test results seem to point to stress being the cause and there is no timeline for knowing if they will ever fully leave or if they will continue to keep gracing me with their presence for the remainder of my life. Yay hives and stress!!!!! Not really…….
Now to tell you about the wedding that I’m thankful never happened…….an old room mate of mine reconnected with me and we decided to go on a date. Things happened fairly quickly and within a few months, we were living together and engaged. The wedding date was set and then I realized that I hated what my life had become with this person. I was grouchy and irritable and would rather sleep on the couch than to crawl into bed with this man. The icing on the cake was that he kept commenting that he was with me so he could brag that he was “with the hot girl that he couldn’t have when he was younger.” Seriously??!! That was his goal……to date me just to say he could. I talked to him about postponing the wedding and that was ill received and then following an issue between our children, he said he would be moving a few things back to his old place for a bit to have everyone settle down and promptly moved EVERY THING of his out. His parting blow was a call to the cops because I asked for my apartment keys back and he asked for the ring back and I told him to “go to Hell.” The door was closed and locked following that comment. I haven’t heard from him since and my happiness has returned.
I have realized that I do jump into things to quickly and I really do need to realize that if things are meant to be, they will be. It may take time before things happen but the journey is worth the walk in order to stay out of the poison ivy that is covering the shorter path.
I hope everyone is holding up well with this crazy year and that your health has been great. Remember to stay safe and don’t be afraid to tell everyone to stay out of your personal space. Talk to you all again soon. (I will make sure not to let another 6 months pass before writing again).